Dear Bluma: I can’t find the beauty in aging.

Dear Bluma,

What is the secret to accepting the physical changes that come with aging?

Struggling with accepting the changes happening as I age… I can't find the beauty.

~Tender in Transition, age 67

...............

Dear Tender,

First: let’s just take a breath together. I get it. You're not alone! So many of us have felt this ache.

The changes are real. The skin isn’t what it was. Gravity has opinions. There are mornings when your reflection feels unfamiliar, and not always (or ever) in a poetic way. How the hell did it all happen!? Am I right?

Can we celebrate for a minute though? 67 years old! WOOT!!!!

I like to think of the years as layers. You've got 67 layers of depth, humor, stories, wrinkles, scars, softness. You've been around the block a few times by now and seen some shit, have you not?! So many seasons. So much weather. Layer upon layer.

But I can guarantee you've got some hard-won radiance beaming underneath it all! That face in the mirror is a living roadmap of courage and reinvention. The beauty that you're craving is still shining through. It doesn't have an expiration date. It's just that the culture has fed us a bunch of anti-aging bullshit, and we eat it every single day!

• that beauty equals youth
• that tight skin is worth more than seasoned wisdom
• that visibility ends after 40 unless you're Botoxed into oblivion.

How do I put this gently? ....Fuck that!

I'm going to feed you a quote instead. Take a bite of this.

"You can take no credit for beauty at sixteen. But if you are beautiful at sixty, it will be your soul's own doing" ~ Marie Stopes

*mic drop*

That's right you sage-ilicious crone! The beauty of an aging woman is in the language of her soul.

It's the silent knowing, the quiet, ancient language that speaks through bones and breath. It's the way she is in conversation with her deepest truth, the light of her intuition, and the timeless pulse of the cosmos. By deepening her inner connection, her essence comes alive. And holy crap! How it shines through those wrinkles!

So here’s some truth from Auntie Bluma:

You don’t have to pretend to love every change. You don’t need to slap a silver-linings filter over your feelings. Learn to meet yourself with deep tenderness and fierce devotion. Infuse your soul with magic. This is the pathway to finding your beauty.

• Meditation or prayer
• Quiet Moments
• Letting go of fear
• Connecting with Nature
• Listening to your body
• Trusting yourself
• Practicing gratitude
• Knowing what brings you pleasure and bathing yourself in it every single day.

Your job now is to be the star of your aging story. Center stage, radiant, unapologetic.

And here’s some radical homework:

Start a Pinterest board (yes, really). Fill it with images of older women (your age or older) who you find breathtaking. Women who dress with flair, laugh with their whole bodies, who radiate magic and mischief. Ask yourself: What makes them beautiful to me? What do I see in them that I want to see in myself?

Your beauty isn’t behind you.
It’s becoming clearer. Wiser. Wilder.
It’s just getting started.

With reverence and glitter,
xo Bluma