Dear Bluma: Hell Yes, Holy No; Finding Your Social Rhythm Again

Dear Bluma,

Ever since the Pandemic, I feel like I’ve really lost a part of myself that I haven’t been able to get back. I used to really look forward to social events, hanging out with friends, etc. Now I simply feel exhausted by people whom I don’t consider my closest friends. I’ve lost touch with a lot of people who were more on the periphery of my life, and I feel a lot of guilt about it. Sometimes I think that this is what happens naturally as we age, but then there are times that I think I need to push myself to get back to that place in my life. I’ve always said that life is too short to do things we don’t want to do, but I'm also wondering if I’ve just lost the knack of socializing because I got out of my routine and habits. 

What would Bluma say?

........

Dear Lost in the Afterglow,

First, let me sprinkle a little stardust on your guilt, because it doesn’t belong to you. The pandemic shook us all like a cosmic snow globe, and the pieces didn’t settle back the way they were. You've been in a shedding season, leaving you lighter! Of course you feel different. You are different.

There’s always wisdom in the weariness. Sometimes what feels like “I’ve lost my knack” is really your spirit whispering: No more small talk in crowded rooms, darling. Depth only, please.

Aging plays a big part. The Crone years (whether you’ve claimed the crown or not) are notorious for sharpening our no’s and polishing our yes’s. That's actually fierce clarity. Still, if you miss a certain spark, you can treat it like tending a neglected garden. Start with a single seed. Say yes to one gentle outing, then rest. Water it with ease, not obligation. Boom! Or should I say Bloom! Connection has its own rhythm, and when nurtured, it remembers how to bloom again.

Here’s a little Bluma ritual:

Next time you feel the tug of obligation or guilt, pause and place your hand over your heart. Ask, Is this a hell yes, or a holy no? Trust the body’s answer. If you do choose to re-enter the buzz, bring a talisman that reminds you of your own magic. A ring, a scarf, a charm. Let it anchor you when the room feels too loud.

You are not broken, my dear. You've bloomed into a new self that doesn't want to waste time where joy is thin. No need to push yourself to get back to a way you've outgrown. With love and self-compassion, simply follow the shape of your soul. No guilt. Just liberation!

With lipstick and stardust,
Bluma